concept: one of those “live, laugh, love” wall hangings, except it’s john mulaney’s “Eat ass, suck a dick, sell drugs.”

finally finished it and I’m gonna hang it on my door so people know what’s up
Hannah | They/Them | terfs/aphobes don’t interact
concept: one of those “live, laugh, love” wall hangings, except it’s john mulaney’s “Eat ass, suck a dick, sell drugs.”

finally finished it and I’m gonna hang it on my door so people know what’s up
hands, covered in spicy mayo
the flavor, untasted, yet felt
viscerally
the way the pastel orange looks in the light setting sun, a mirror of the way the sun sets
the way it paints the sky
my hands painted likewise as well
flavor beyond compare
cleaning with a mr clean magic eraser is such a sensual experience like the mess just goes away it’s so easy…… i just cleaned the fridge and i was turned on the whole time. mr clean owns my ass
This is the weirdest viral marketing campaign ever
ITS NOT SPONSORED IM JUST A FREAK FOR QUALITY CLEANING SUPPLIES
General fee - $7.95
Foolery up-charge - $2.39
Bridesmaids @ Dragshow charge - $12.10
Sens8 cancellation fee - $3.50
Homophobia tax - $17.99
LGBT Ally high-matinence-gratidude fee - $4.86
Breathing-my-air-at-pride tax - $8.45
TOTAL - $59.24
For your convenience, we have LGBT+ persons located in all of your towns and citys that will accept your payments of cash, check, or venmo.
nothing worse than hearing straight people talk about queer eye
nothing worse than hearing straight people talk.
nothing worse than straight people
May you find exactly what you want at the thrift shop, in your price range, next time you’re there.
can’t pass up this kinda karma
and in your size
definitely cant pass it up now jeez
well I guess I’m an ayg, whatever the hell that is


There is no escape
Is it yag?
i don’t care if it’s a only a joke, please don’t make comments about how someone’s choice of field of study isn’t going to take them anywhere because it can be a great source of stress and your joke won’t help.
people who don’t say please and thank you are ugly
You sound neurotypical.
People who have difficulty talking to people and still try are beautiful but people who think that their illness is an excuse to stop caring about how they treat other people are ugly too.
Person: what’s wrong?
Me: nothing…
Me internally: why did that man honk at me in the intersection between 52nd St and 3rd Ave on January 4th 2015
tumblr talks a big game about monster fucking but you guys see one velociraptor blowjob and suddenly you’re all clutching your pearls and fainting
I wish someone could take away the context I have for this post